Awaiting the "glorious freedom"

This semester has been such a whirl wind. I feel like I never have time to catch my breath these days. I’ve been done with Step Sing for about 2 weeks now, but all my free time seems to be spent trying to catch up on all the work I didn’t do during Step Sing. Step Sing being over is such a bitter sweet thing. I loved getting to see those ADPi girls every night and I miss the constant togetherness, but I do enjoy having some free evenings and being able to sleep occasionally. I also miss the excuse of embracing my alter ego (Miss Tennessee) with the constant pageant waves, hair tosses, and beauty queen struts. Its the end of an era... no more Step Sing for me :( 

Me and the Super Talented Directors of our show! And two of my favorite people ever! Reppin ADPi!

Love these girls! Dunno what I would do without each and every one of you!

Roomies that did step sing! Love her so!

Now that I’m back in the normal swing of things, I’m frustrated that I keep finding myself in the same situation. I constantly feel like I’m treading water and wasting time. And lately I just feel like I’m really not any good at what I’m trying to accomplish. I don’t enjoy any of my classes, so this semester has really turned into a rough one. I can’t find the motivation to work hard in something I can’t stand, so I am frustrating myself with constant mediocrity but try as I might I can’t kick it because lets just face it... Research Methods is completely miserable, and as much as I love Dr. Chew, I hate Cognitive Psychology... Throw in a side of Human Sexuality and Intermediate Spanish and its a recipe for disaster. 

I keep trying to remind myself that this is ok, and that many people experience this in life. So I don’t know what I’m good at yet or what I’m called to do with my life... I just keep telling myself to be patient and find contentment in the present situation. Clearly because I become so frazzled and frustrated with where I am so easily, I’m not taking my own advice, but I’m hoping it will sink it. I found some encouragement yesterday when I was reading Desire by John Eldredge...Now if I can just figure out how to focus on this when I get all frustrated instead of being overcome by dissappointment. 

In the chapter entitled, The Adventure Begins, Eldredge explains a lot about God and what He “does.” He didn’t just create the world and then run away, He still has an active part in it... HE LOVES HIS WORK. Not the work He did, but the work He still does. He loves painting sunsets and telling flowers when to bloom and watching out for the momma deer when its having a baby. It is God’s DELIGHT to do all these things. So what does that say about me? Excuse me as I just quote Eldredge a lot because he just says it better than I can.
“But when Genesis declares we are God’s image, it is describing not certain qualities of our character but capacities of our nature... we are made like God in our creative powers because we are to be like God in ruling the earth... To be like God is to rule the earth as he does. To rule the earth as he does is to be like God.”

“we yearn to be fruitful, to do something of meaning and value that flows naturally out of the gifts and capacities of our souls. But of course--we were meant to be the kings and queens of the earth.”

All of this gives me such a different perspective on Heaven too. Everything I’m doing down here and everything I’m dealing with is somehow shaping me to do what God has planned for me in Heaven. In Romans 8 Paul says that our current sufferings are “not worth comparing” to “the glory that will be revealed in us” (8:18)

So even though I’m feeling so lost in life and like I have no purpose, this is what really grabbed my heart and showed me God’s incredible plan, “The One who created you and set all those loves and gifts in your heart, the One who has shaped all your life experiences (INCLUDING THE ONES THAT SEEM TO MAKE NO SENSE), this God has prepared a place for you that is a more than perfect fit for all your gifts and quirks and personality traits--even those you don’t know you have...We will take the position for which we have been uniquely made and will rule as He does--meaning with creativity and power.”

Its crazy how encouraging that was to me just yesterday when I read it, and how two tests and frustrating day later left me annoyed and upset with where I am and feeling like I’m terrible at everything I attempt to do. I need to learn to dwell on this encouragement in the midst of everything else instead of letting myself get bogged down and annoyed. Who cares what happens. 

I love these two and the time I got to spend with them this weekend!

When I need a smile I just think about this nugget... always missing my nephew!

Happy Listening! This song was just what I needed today